Best Ten Bucks
by coolbluerocker
Summary: 'In the event of a fire, make your way to the nearest exit. In the event of a earthquake, get under your tables. In the event of an angry Uchiha, run for your life, he will kill you.' It seems stealing the principles microphone wasn't a good idea. SxN
1. Chapter 1

Heyyyyy! This is my attempt on a funny Naruto fic. I hope you enjoy and please tell me if it was good or bad. I'm more of an angst writer myself. I've never really done funny. Well, I hope it's not a total failure! I like it and I hoep you do to! Please review! Also this is boyxboy so don't like don't read! It's Sasunaru! XD

Plot: 'In the event of a fire, make your way to the nearest exit. In the event of a earthquake, get under your tables. In the event of an angry Uchicha, run for your life, he **will **kill you.' It seems stealing the principles microphone wasn't a good idea.

Disclaimers: I do not own Naruto, if I did, Sasuke and Naruto would be sooo together.

Best Ten Bucks

XxXxXxXx

High school was once again starting after a three month long Summer break. The outside was a typical fall day. There were leaves all over the ground in many colors. Despite the nice scenery, the wind was bitter and cold. The clouds were grey, threatening rainfall soon.

Surprisingly, school was open despite the early end of summer. The teens piled in, desperate to get out of the cold wind. Some came in limo's while others drove or took the bus. Very few walked because it was just so cold outside. Their fingers were a nice, bright pink while their lips were tinged blue.

As soon as anyone open the doors to the front entrance, a burst of hot air met them from the schools heating vents. Instead of going to their classes though, the teens had to go to the front hall for the start of school assembly.

One Sasuke Uchiha was walking along to his locker. He was a Sophomore and was well use to the ways of the school by now. He had a group of friends, all coming from the same old school. And he couldn't forget his kick ass boyfriend. Yes, the great Sasuke Uchiha is gay. His poor fangirls all fainted on the spot, and hunted down his poor blond. They once caught him and tortured him. He was mentally scarred after but luckily he had Sasuke there to make all the bad dreams of powerpuff girls undies being shot at him go away. It was truly a nightmare, they tried to use girly, sweetness against his dobe, although he did over react. But he was the only one who messed with his dobe.

His dobe had a new fear of fangirls and surprisingly (the blond wouldn't tell Sasuke why) the fear of lip stick. Whenever he asked, the younger boy would start muttering about the sticky goop on his face and the terrible colors of the rainbow. He didn't dwell too much on it.

Speaking of his dobe, here he comes.

"Hey Sasuke!" The blond smiled as he wrapped his hands around the taller boys neck and gave him a peck on the cheek. Sasuke responded by grabbing the blonds waist and attacking his mouth. He licked the younger boys lip, asking for entrance which was easily granted. He forced his tongue into the blonds mouth, exploring the warm cavern. The two had gotten together about two weeks after the start of school but Sasuke said he loved the boy since the ninja academy. Naruto pushed the older boy away with a smug smirk, efficiently ending their sweet kiss.

"Not now 'Suke. We have to get to the assembly to greet the new freshmen. I promised Tsunade that I wouldn't be late this time." Sasuke smirked as he remembered last year. Naruto had been fifteen minutes late, that wasn't too bad but the fact that he had raced into the hall not knowing he came in the wrong entrance and ended up in the middle of the stage next to an angry as hell Tsunade. Not only was she Hokage but now she was convinced to run Konoha High School. They were still trained to be ninjas here and were on the same teams but now they were back in school.

"Hn." Naruto growled before grabbing the black haired teens hand and dragged him along, although soon he was keeping pace with the blond because Uchiha's don't get dragged along. They reached the hall in no time and took their seats next to their group of friends. Naruto and Kiba already in a loud conversation the second they sat next to each other.

"Shut up you two! It's starting!" Ino hissed as Tsunade came on stage. The whole room began to quiet down as she glared at all the newbies, making sure to scare the shit out of them.

XxXxXxXx After The Boring Assembly (because the author is too lazy to actually write it).

"Hey Sakura! You seen Naruto?" Sasuke asked after the assembly. His blond seemed to disappear into the crowd.

"No, sorry." The pink haired girl replied. She had long ago gotten over Sasuke and moved on to someone who liked her. Lee.

"Is the youthful Naruto missing! We must find him to preserve his youthfulness!" The loud, green clad boy replied. Loudly I might add... Very loudly.

"Hey did you say Naruto's missing? So is Kiba!" Choji muttered through a bag of chips.

"Troublesome." Shikamaru sighed.

"I-I hope th-there al-alright." Hinata whispered nervously.

"I'm sure they're fine!" Tenten reassured.

"Hey Uchiha!" The principle and Hokage yelled as she came over to the group of friends.

"I have a bad feeling about this." Sasuke mumbled.

"You should already be in room 13!"

"Why?"

"Come on! I'll explain on the way." He was then dragged along, away from his friends. He yanked his arm out of Tsunades grip. Once again, Uchiha's don't get dragged along.

"Where are we going?"

"Remember, you volunteered to answer some questions for the freshmen's." The boy stopped dead in his tracks. They sentence sounded wrong in so many ways. Sasuke, volunteer and freshmen's. Sasuke does **not **volunteer for anything, especially if it had something to do with stupid freshmen's. "Come on! We'll be late and they're waiting." The walking continued only because Sasuke was in a daze.

"When did I volunteer!" The raven haired boy growled.

"You left a note on my desk." The blond lady responded.

"Naruto!" The boys name along with a string of curses were said under his breath. This had the dobes name written all over it. He was suddenly thrust into a classroom and all eyes were on him. Even worse, all freshmen eyes. Standing at the top of the class was Shikamaru and Airi. He had no clue how Shikamaru got there before him if last time he saw him he was with their group of friends. Airi was a very loud girl who was another one of his fans, but instead of being a fan of him, she was a fan of his and Naruto's relationship... She was a yaoi fan with short blue hair and brown eyes.

He walked to the front of the class and stood next to Shikamaru. "How'd you get stuck in this?"

"I was forced because I'm calm and smart or something. How troublesome." Was the lazy reply.

"Alright young ones, this is Airi, Shikamaru and Sasuke. Raise your hands and I'll pick you randomly. You can ask any of them a question." Hands instantly went up. "Blondy with green eyes."

It was a girl. "I'm asking... Airi. What are the dorms like?"

They're awesome! Especially because the girls and guys are on the same floor. If you don't like your roommate really badly, they'll let you switch rooms too!"

"Greeny with weird smile." This was also a girl. "Ummmm... Shikamaru! Does it get annoying when you have to share a floor with the opposite gender?"

"No, it's fine."

"Browny with brown eyes." This time a boy. "Sasuke." Just saying the name earned him a scary glare. "Are the girls hot?" This earned him a nervous boy and an even sharper glare.

"Sure."

XxXxXxXx Somewhere Else... With Scary Spiders.

"Oh crap! Oh crap! Shit! Shit! Shitshitshitshitshit!"

"Would you just keep moving! I don't know why I let you talk me in to these thing." The last part was mumbled to himself.

"You know you love me! I'm your best friend!"

"Yeah, yeah. How lucky am I!"

"Oh quit whining and keep moving!"

"Your the one who stopped. It's not like I can go through things!"

"There's a SPIDER!"

"Get over it you wimp! I'm crawling through a vent for you so keep going! I swear to God if I regret this I will hunt you down and kill you!"

"Then I'll get Sasuke to protect me!"

"Speaking of him. How do you think he'd taking the whole, pretend to be him and give a note to the principle to answer questions from freshmen's?"

"Dunno, hopefully not too bad. I don't want to die an early death."

XxXxXxXx Back To Sasuke!

Eye twitch... Another eye twitch. Why him! For god sakes why him! He'd been asked the most irrelevant questions they could think of. About relationships and stupid things like that. His last question was whether girls with big boobs were better then girls with small ones.

"Yellowy and green eyes." A girl. "Shikamaru! Are the classes hard?"

"They're troublesome."

"Black hair, orange eyes."(1) A boy. "Airi! Are the teachers nice?"

"Some are great! But others aren't. It just depend if your on their good side or not but most of them are really nice!"

"Red hair, blue eyes." A boy. "Sasuke! Are the guys hot?"

Cough... Cough. "Hn."

"Purple hair, foam green eyes." Another boy. "Sasuke! How does the school take gays?"

"Uh..." Uchiha's don't stutter. Uchiha's don't stutter, no matter how embarrassing the questions are. He mentally chanted. "They don't care if you don't." He was going to **kill** Naruto!

XxXxXxXx Once Again With The Two Idiots

"Ok! Were here!"

"Finally! I was going to die from dust inhalation! God do the janitors ever climb in the vents and clean them!"

"... Kiba, I'm not going to answer that."

"Oh just shut up and open the damn thing!"

"Ok! Stop rushing me!" With that he finally unscrewed the final nail and kicked the vent door open. He braced himself before pushing himself out of the vent and landing on the Principles desk, scattering paperwork everywhere. "Ok Kiba! Come on down!" He moved out of the way as the brunette jumped down.

"So, where is it Naruto?"

"Dunno, somewhere around here." The two dug through the mess of their principles office when they finally found their treasure. With a smirk they pressed the button down and started talking in to it.

XxXxXxXx With Sasuke... Again.

The speakers squeaked before words came out of it all around the school. All of the kids looked up to where the noise was coming from.

"Hello there my friends! Hows it going. This is your trusty classmate! I've come to introduce myself and help you, the freshmen's, to understanding some of the safety procedures in our school. And Sasuke, hi!" All the freshmen looked at the glaring black-ette. He was really going to kill that dobe now.

"Oh! And sorry about leaving you with all those newbies, I know how annoying they can be. Anyways. First of all. Welcome to our school. Don't mind Baa-san, our crazy principle, she will not cause you harm as long as you mind the sign on her back saying 'stay five feet away from me. I do bite'." Tsunade gripped her back, her fingers coming in contact with paper. She instantly ripped it off angrily.

"You little brat! Sneaking into my office and now sticking signs on my back!" The blond yelled as she cursed the younger blond.

"And I already predicted what you would say Baa-san, so... Old hag! You should have seen this coming and put super glue on your vent so I couldn't sneak into you office. And don't blame me that you don't watch your back! Now, back to my point. Some safety procedures. In the event of a fire, make your way to you nearest exit. Or just follow the loud screaming crowd. In the event of an earthquake, cover your neck and get under your table. Don't forget to shriek and tremble! In the event of an angry Uchiha, run for your life, he **will** kill you."

"Naruto! I will kill you!"

"Yes sweetums, I love you too! Kiba says hi! Thats all for now. Ps. Remember my last warning."

Everyone did remember that warning and the freshmen's either ran out of the classroom screaming or hid under the table quivering. Sasuke stormed out of the classroom, or course he didn't rush, too much. Uchiha's don't rush. Not too far behind was a mad Tsunade.

"SOMEONE GET ME SOME SAKE!"

When the duo got to the office, it was empty as expected. The vent door was lying on the ground and papers were all over the place. On a yellow post it note, there was the message _'How's that for a first day of school?'_

When the partners in crime were finally found, they were like hero's to all freshmen for their brave act. Although they didn't feel like hero's because they got a months worth of detention and everyday after school they had to clean the entire campus. Naruto was lucky, Sasuke didn't get too mad and after the first week of cleaning, he'd keep Naruto company for the next three weeks. This also meant he was keeping Kiba company, but he only stayed for his blond.

The two would then journey back to Sasuke's house, which Naruto now lived in as he was forced by the older teen. They were greeted by a happy Itachi, even if he did kill his entire clan. Sasuke was over his 'I am an avenger. Hear me roar' stage. It seems Itachi was forced to do it by the ANBU root leader.

"You know Naruto, I still don't get why out of the three of us, me, Shikamaru and Airi, why I was the one who was asked the creepy questions."

"I can't believe they actually went through with that! Best ten bucks I ever spent!"

"WHAT!" Sasuke would forever deny yelling like that, because Uchiha's don't freak out. He would also deny chasing his blond the rest of the way home, but he wouldn't deny the kissing-fest they had when he finally caught his dobe.

XxXxXxXx

1-' "Black hair, orange eyes." A boy. "Airi! Are the teachers nice?" ' Geeze! Is it just me or does this guy sound like halloween!

I hope you enjoyed! As I said earlier, this is my first attempt at humor! Please review! XD GO Sasunaru!

Coolbluerocker


	2. Mud Fun

Hey everyone, I decided to make this a story of funny things going on in Konoha High! I like writing these kinds of stories I found out, so I hope you all enjoy. In my first chapter, I realize I said that they had cars near the start of the story but there isn't meant to be them in my story. So, could you ignore that fact. When I first wrote it I wasn't planning on continuing it. I hope you enjoy it and please review. Ps. This chapter didn't turn out how I wanted it to really, but I like how it is. I'm not sure if it's any good but I hope it's okay. It also turned out a bit shorter then intended! Sorry! Please review! XD

Disclaimers: I do not own Naruto, if I did, Sasuke and Naruto would be sooo together.

Mud Fun

XxXxXxXx

It was another wonderful day in Konoha, the sun was beaming, almost smiling, the birds were chirping and there was a light breeze. It wasn't too warm and yet, it wasn't cold. This was a day everyone was grateful for. They didn't need a heavy coat but they didn't have to wear the thinnest clothes they had to avoid getting drenched in sweat. And man, was that uncomfortable, being in soggy, smelly clothes. Yes, the teens of Konoha loved these kinds of days.

The only down side was the fact that there were puddles everywhere. The night before rain fell like birds and worms (1). The thunder clapped like snoring old men and the lightning struck like fireflies on a dark night. It was a miracle if you got to school without stepping in a puddle at least once. Being in rain soaked clothes was almost as bad as being in ones drenched in your own sweat.

Of course, this little fact didn't deter two boys from trying to get the other wet. Each pushing the other whenever there was a puddle nearby. They both were miles in front of the others in their little group walking to school. They had unintentionally gained space when they tried to run from the other to avoid being face first in a muddy pool of brown water.

Their group didn't mind... Too much. They were well use to the antics of their friends. Although they did mind when they were caught in the crossfire. Now that, that wasn't fun. Of course, no matter how much they didn't mind the two's fun, some did. One of the people who cared, was Sasuke Uchiha. He didn't exactly mind his boyfriend having fun, but he did mind when he barely said a hello to him that morning. How fair was it that he didn't get to walk with his boyfriend, hand in hand to school? Instead the brown haired mutt stole him away. Damn dogs, always taking what wasn't theirs... _'and messing that stuff up.' _He noted disdainfully as he spotted the brown splash's of muddy water on his boyfriends clothes.

The blond boy and his brown haired bestfriend were still messing around. At this point they were shoulder to shoulder, each trying to gain more land and get the other to the puddle on that side. It just so happens at this exact spot there was a puddle on each of their sides, and they wouldn't waste this opportunity to prove which one was stronger.

In the end it seems Kiba overpowered Naruto, using his advantage in height to win. This resulted in a wet and muddy blond boy, a group of annoyed people and a very, VERY pissed off Sasuke. Naruto quickly got out of the puddle he had been thrown in and quickly smirked. His brain came up with a devious plan to get Kiba back. So while Sasuke was held back by Shikamaru, who called this troublesome and Lee, who called Sasuke youthful, Naruto walked over to a scared Kiba.

"Hey Mutt! Care to give your bestest buddy a hug!" The blond smirked.

"No! Get the hell away from me!" The brunette growled.

"But, I thought we were best friends!"

"And that makes you think I'll hug your muddy self!"

"But, I love you, bestie! Do you not care at all for your best friend?" Some growling ensured from Sasuke as he heard the word love. He thrashed harder.

"No way! Hey-y, Ino, get out of my way. Can't you see what that muddy beast is trying to do! No-NO!" As Ino blocked his only escape, he was glomped by the blond boy, only for said boy to be forcefully ripped from his back seconds later and into pale arms of a furious boyfriend. Uchiha's don't share! Kiba looked slightly frightened at the glare that promised much pain and suffering for touching someone else property. Kiba nearly fainted on the spot from fear.

"Sasuke! You ruined my payback!" Naruto pouted, oblivious to Kiba's terror.

"Hn."

"WHAAA! Stop! Sasuke! Uncle! UNCLE!" Another splash was heard as Kiba was mercilessly dropped into a muddy puddle by the black haired teen, who smirked in victory as the blond bounced over to him.

"Thanks Sasuke! Lets go!" His smirk only grew as the two left the small group of friends to walk to school. Now hand in hand. He was now muddy as well, from when he had taken the blond boy off Kiba. He didn't really mind too much though. He wore dark clothes anyways so it wouldn't be as noticeably as it was on his boyfriends bright blue hoddie and jeans.

He reached over and ran his hand through the golden locks, getting rid of some dried up dirt in the hair. It was so soft under his fingertips. He loved the feel of that beautiful texture only his dobe had. Thats right, his dobe. They met up with the rest of their friends in school, all asking what had happened. No one would tell.

Naruto was too happy.

Shikamaru thought it was too troublesome.

Lee was too busy going on about the wonders of youth for anyone to listen for more then a minute.

Ino was gossiping about too much for her to ever get to the point of what happened.

Kiba was too embarrassed by the fact that Sasuke had pushed him into the puddle.

And Sasuke, well, he doesn't answer there questions in general so he just 'hn'ed. Looking once more at his blond, his smirk returned. Uchiha's always got what they wanted and no one messed up what was theirs.

XxXxXxXx

1- 'The night before rain fell last night like birds and worms (1). ' - It's like cats and dogs but my own one! XD

Like I said, this didn't turn out as expected but I still hope you enjoyed. I worked hard and I'm not too sure if it's actually funny, it's suppose to be! Anyways, please review and if you have any pairings you want in this story I'll see if I can add them! Biiii

Coolbluerocker


	3. How To Turn Pink

Hey everyone... Well, it's been a while but I've finally forced myself to write the next chapter... I don't really like work if you've noticed... Three of my storied still have to be rewritten cause their grammar is so bad you can't understand anything and also, some of the words are gone cuz the computer decided to eat them up.. It's all better though, my computer isn't hungry. Anyways, please review!

Disclaimers: I don't own Naruto, if I did Naruto and Sasuke would sooo be together!

Also I'd like to thank all these people for reviewing.

**Atsu-chi - Thanks so much for reviewing and I'm continuing it! I hope it's an okay story!**

**Off In Her Own Little World - Thanks! I'm glad there weren't too many mistakes... you should have read my first stories... Right now I'm afraid to look at them! :)**

**sasorilover7 - Hey, thanks so much. I really didn't think many would actually like the story!**

**icequeen2897 - Thanks for putting it on your favs list! And I know what u mean by the laughing thing... Sometimes my mom thinks I'm totally insane when I just can't hold it in! :D**

**dotwiper - Thanks so much for reviewing. I hope you enjoyed it!**

**nt'kit - Hey thanks so much! I love the avenger rawr thing! I just totally think of that when I see Sasuke! Hehe :)**

**YeahYouWannaKnowMyName - Hey thanks for reviewing and maybe you're right... But, I thought the saying was 'raining like cats and dogs' so I just changed the animals... But I'm not really sure. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed!**

How to Turn Pink

It was another day at Konoha High. The grass was slightly damp for the all out storm last night, yet the group of friends still sat there. Kiba and Hinata were making small conversation and it wasn't going too well with the way the brunette was blushing... Almost as much as Hinata if that was physically possible. Everyone knew he had a crush on the girl, only Hinata herself didn't know and Kiba just couldn't work up the guts to tell her.

Neji and Gaara were in their 'I'm not talking to you because you're not worth my time' moods, together. Both were brooding over the fact that the other wouldn't start a conversation, cause they too were so in love with each other and it was pretty awkward. No one bothered with them though... Too use to their silence by now.

Tenten, Temari, Ino and Sakura were whispering in low voiced about ways to make Naruto and Sasuke kiss. They were also yaoi fans and loved cute moment between the two boys. Although, because they were so preoccupied with their plots, they didn't notice the cuteness going on right this moment.

Shikamaru and Choji were chilling against the tree, Shikamaru apparently asleep and Choji munching away on his chips merrily. Kankuro wasn't far off, watching the girls in anticipation... The pervert. I bet he reads that orange book Kakashi always has his face stuffed into, corrupting his mind... Poor Iruka-sensei, he could probably sue Kakashi for sexual assult, even if he was willing.

Shino was sitting on one of the branches in the tree, most likely looking for some weird bug or something. He always sat up there. Lee wasn't too far away, having found himself a branch to sit on so he could go on and on about the wonders of youth, not that Shino was even listening but the green blob didn't mind... They're just lucky Gai-sensei wasn't here, thats exceptionally scary.

Sasuke and Naruto were in their own little world, having a moment of adorableness. Sasuke was sitting with his legs spread out and leaning against a large oak tree. Naruto was lying on his back with his head resting in the Uchiha's lap. His crystal blue eyes which Sasuke loved were closed but he wasn't asleep. The black haired teen was running his pale hands through the blonds spiky, soft hair, hoping to lull his boyfriend into the dreamland.

He had been hoping the boy would have fallen asleep earlier, as he really needed but that wasn't the case. Naruto always had trouble falling asleep during the day, even if he was dead tired and could barely think strait. You could even notice bags under his eyes if you really looked.

Just as he thought Naruto was about to sleep, a girly squeal sent him into an upright position. Looking over at where it came from, Tenten, Temari and Sakura were shushing Ino who was gushing at the cuteness of the two boys together. The blond got hit several times by the other three girls for ruining the moment just as they were about to take pictures and sell them online.

"Could you be any louder." Sasuke hissed, annoyed with the fact that his koi couldn't get any sleep.

"Sorry!" The girls chorused.

"Don't be mean Sasu!" Naruto chided as he lied back down warily.

"What's wrong with you man? You so not hyper?" Kiba asked.

"Didn't sleep much..."

"Why not?" Shikamaru asked, suddenly coming back to the living and awake.

"The storm." Sasuke said for his dobe.

"Storm... You mean you're scared of a storm?" Kiba laughed.

"Shut up mutt! Leave me alone." Naruto turned to his side so his back was facing his friends.

"Hey Hey I-"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA." Sudden laughing came from a crown of people as they seemed to be following someone around in the distance. Nearly everyone was on the floor laughing their guts out but from here, the group couldn't see what was going on.

"Sasuke, protect me?" The blond mumbled.

"What'd you do this time?" The older boy questioned.

"Kakashi won't be happy."

"Kakashi?" Neji repeated.

"Don't let him get me Sasuke... Promise."

"Hn, whatever." With that, the blond left the world of the living, just as an angry silver haired man stumbled out of the circle of people. Although, there was one problem... He was missing some silver hair. And no, he wasn't bald, it was just different... And Kiba burst out laughing with the others trying, and failing to hold in chuckles.

The man stood there in what looked like honey and feathers and his hair wasn't silver, it was pink. Not just any pink, bright illumines pink that, if anyone could guess, would glow in the dark... At least Iruka wouldn't lose him... Although it was slightly disturbing.

"WHERE. IS. HE!"

"Shut up or else I'll cut you open, take out all your organs and sell them on the internet before throwing you into a shark infested ocean." Now, that would have been funny, if not for the fact that the Uchiha said it with a totally strait face and didn't even hesitate. Kakashi couldn't help but think he actually meant it, so he shut up.

"Now, leave. Naruto's finally asleep." The older man followed the orders like an obedient dog, his tail between his legs.

"Tell him he'll regret the day he put a bucket of honey above my door, a net of feathers after that and spray pained my hair before I even noticed." He yelled back before ducking into a room, away from the Uchiha glare with might just set him on fire with it's intensity.

"So... You think he's gonna prank Naruto back?" Tenten asked.

"You're hot." Everyone looked over at Kankuro, creeped (1) out.

"Anyways... Yes, he will." Temari said, smirking.

"W-well, no ne-need to worry... Th-there's no way he'll ac-actually do it properly." Hinata stuttered.

Briiiiiiiing... Briiiiiiing, the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch. Naruto barely even stirred and Sasuke didn't even bother to wake him, he simply picked him up bridal style and walked into their next class that just so happened to be with Kakashi, the pink haired man.

XxXxXxXx Somewhere Else

"..."

"..."

"So, how did you end up stuck in this net?" Anko asked from the roof. "Not to mention covered in blue paint and what looks to be... Chocolate chip cookie crumbs."

"... Just shut up and get me out of here!" The pink haired, blue man growled.

"But seriously... What were yo-"

"Just shut it and cut me out!"

"..."

"..."

"Wait! No, don't leave! PLEASE."

"I'll tell Iruka where to find you, after all, you can't just go wondering off, you could get hurt."

"No! DON'T GO! NO!... Stupid sleeping blond."

"..."

XxXxXxXx

1 - creeped out... Is that a word?

Okay, I really have no clue if this was funny! All I can say is I tried! I hope is was at least Ok and please review! Thanks for reading!

Coolbluerocker


	4. Swap

Hey everyone! Thanks for reviewing! I really like this chapter and I hope you do too! Please review!

XxXxXxXx

Swap

It was times like these, that Sasuke really questioned, why, in Kami's name, did he date the blond.

"..."

"..."

"What are you _wearing!" _Neji questioned in shock, which was very unusual as Neji was like 'I have no emotions so I'm awesome, babe'. Everyone was currently staring at the two boys, who were, with no question, the center of attention, not that that was unusual.

Standing before them was one Sasuke Uchiha, only, not dressed like one. Instead of his normal, dark blue shirt and black jeans, he was wearing a pair of light blue jeans, a black T-shirt and an orange and black hoodie with no sleeves which looked to have been ripped off. Not to mention, they were at least two sizes too small, if not more. The shirt was tight, too tight and looked uncomfortable as well as it showed some of his belly skin, and the jeans looked like they wouldn't ever be able to come off. Not to mention the orange shoes looked way too small.

Then, next to the abnormally colorful Sasuke, was a creepily dark clothed Naruto. He was wearing a deep blue T-shirt with a white collar and the Uchiha sign on the back, a pair of midnight black skinny jeans, which were still to big and a pair of navy shoes. The shirt was probably three sizes too big and hung around his shoulders, nearly falling off along with the fact that he could probably wear the thing as a dress. The jeans were slipping of his hips and even with a belt (which was not his) they still fell, along with the fact that the shoes would practically fall off with ever step he took.

All in all, they were something.

"Don't speak of it!" Hissed the Uchiha.

"What the hell even happened? I mean, I can imagine Kiba and Naruto doing this, but you!" Sakura questioned, as she silently giggled at how ridiculous they looked.

"It was either this or go around in a leash and collar." Sasuke mumbled.

"So, why exactly did you have to choose either one?" Gaara asked, raising a non-existing eyebrow.

"I lost a bet." The older boy grumbled out.

"He said I couldn't go a month without ramen... I said I could. Whoever won could make the other do whatever for the day." Kiba's eyes widened as he dragged his best friend away from the black haired boy, standing protectively in front of the smaller boy.

"Do you know what he could have done to you if he lost! He could exploit your innocence, take advantage of your naivety, soil your pureness, make you dirty. He's an evil mastermind waiting for you to drop your guard and you nearly lost any rights you had against him. He'd take advantage of you and there would be nothing you could do!" Kiba practically screamed as Sasuke glared at him, slowly watching the mutt die in his mind, painfully and slow... Very slow.

"Kiba, you have a sick mind. Sasuke would never make Naruto do anything he didn't want to, you know that!" Ino chided.

"Yeah... But we all know Sasuke wants to get in shorty's pants. He's too innocent to understand what was going on!" Everyone seemed to contemplate this. Thinking of all the things Sasuke would do and Naruto being as pure as he was, would think it's normal.

"Kiba... You do realize me and Sasuke have been dating for over a year, right?" The blond asked.

"Yes..."

"And you know we really like each other... right?"

"And..."

"Kiba, we've... _done_ _it _before."

"WHAT!" The brown haired boy screeched, looking absolutely horrified, like he just learned all the ramen in the world just happened to be in one room and got burned along with all the people who knew how to make it, so no one else could ever make it again, and not that his best friend already did _it. _A world without ramen, now that would be a tragedy.

"Kiba, relax. It's not like I don-"

"YOU!" Kiba interrupted the blond and turned to rawr at Naruto's boyfriend, who stood there looking innocent. "YOU BASTARD! YOU DESTROYED HIS LIFE! FORCED YOURSELF ON HIM! YOU MADE HIM IMPURE! HOW CAN YOU STAND THERE AFTER ALL YOU'VE DONE TO HIM. I WILL NEVER LET HIM GET NEAR YOU AGAIN! STAY AWAY YOU PERVERT, YOU RAPER!"

"Shut up you idiot! You're attracting attention!" Shikamaru groaned, watching the crowd around them begin to stare at the Uchiha who apparently raped an innocent blond.

"Kiba. It's no big deal. I-"

"NO BIG DEAL! HE SEXUALLY ASSAULTED YOU!" Kiba heaved, having a mental breakdown. He was hyperventilation.

"Kibe, come on. We're going to be late to class. Get over it." Naruto growled as he grabbed the taller boy and heaved him up, directing him to their next class. "See you in P.E. Sasuke!"

XxXxXxXx In P.E.

"Tezuca Tronie."

"Hai!"

"Tomoni Tsuda."

"Hai!"

"Sasuke Uchiha."

"Hai!"

"... I said Uchiha, not Uzumaki!" Their P.E teacher, Anko, growled at the beaming blond.

"Ok."

"Now, Sasuke Uchiha."

"Hai!"

"... Okay... Moving on. Naruto Uzumaki."

"Hai."

"Do I want to know, Uchiha?" The teacher asked the boy who answered.

"No."

"Anyways... Ino Yamanaka."

"Hai."

"Finally... someone who's not crazy."

XxXxXxXx

"Now, today we're just training so I want all of you to go do what you normally do!" The black haired lady ordered. Just as the blond in disguise walked over to the running track, a devious plot clouded her mind and all she could hear was 'Pay back time baby!'

"Where are you going, Sasuke!" She called and watched the surprised blond look back at her. "You do weights, remember, not running. Now, go lift your weights!" She smirked at the look of disbelief on the blonds face as he dragged himself over to the weights, lying down on the table thing and grabbing the bar. "And you Naruto! You do running, not weights... Now, I want thirty laps. You have eight minutes." For once, the look of disbelief on the Uchiha's face actually showed as he too, walke dover to the track regretfully.

"Sasuke! I said lift weights, last time I check, you had at least forty more pounds on that thing." Anko yelled as she slipped on the heavier weights. The blond could barely hold the bar up and struggled to keep it from collapsing on him. The glare he threw at her would haunt her memories forever. She had never seen any form of glare in the blonds eyes, and this was worse then the devils... Hell, it was worse then the Uchiha's and she didn't even think that was possible. Slowly, she backed away from the demon child.

"Naruto! What are you doing! I told you to run, not jog!" Sasuke was dragging himself along as he panted, nearly tripping over his own feet. He wasn't out of shape but hell, how did Naruto do this! It was torture, impossible. He knew his Koi had good stamina but this was plain ridiculous!

Naruto was currently thinking alone the same lines as he still struggled to get it up at least once. No wonder Sasuke had such muscle!

XxXxXxXx

The two boys flopped down on the changing room bench's, barely able to move. Naruto's arms felt like jelly as did Sasuke legs. They leaned against each other before forcing themselves to stand and change before the bell rang to say class was over.

Why, in Kami's name, did he date the blond?

"Sorry 'Suke. I will never again be you on P.E day!" The blond swore as he gave the taller boy a kiss, standing on his tippy toes.

Oh yeah, that's why.

XxXxXxXx

I'm sorry! But I love the ending! Hehe! I hope it's good and I just have bad taste in writing! Anyways, like I said earlier, please review!

Coolbluerocker


	5. Phobia

Hey everyone! This is the new chapter! I like it... although I can of made it up on the spot... Anyways, thanks for reviewing everyone... I'm really inspired to write more and I hope you enjoy reading more too! Please review an' stuff... I'll shut up now and you read, kay!

Disclaimers: I do not own Naruto (or thesaurus') You'd know if I did... :)

XxXxXxXx

Phobia

A class of about twenty five were impatiently waiting for the arrival of their ever so late teacher, Kakashi-sensei. He was, like usual, late to his class. It's not that his class were unaccustomed to his late appearance, it's just they still got hella bored when they had nothing to do.

The class was in little circles of groups of friends. In one circle was an annoyed raven who goes by the name of Sasuke, Kiba (with Akamaru in his shirt), Ino, Sakura, Gaara, Shikamaru and Naruto. There were three other, unimportant groups... Although that creepy stalker girl Airi was in one of them with other giggling girls who kept looking over at them. It was scary, even to Sasuke, although being an Uchiha it didn't show.

It just so happened this was english class. They had to bring three books to this class, the workbook, a copy and a dictionary/thesaurus. So, when boredom called on a young, about-to-kill-himself-from-nothing-to-do, blond, he reached for the closest object to doodle on... His already graffitied dictionary.

The raven sitting beside him watched in curiosity as the smaller boy flipped open the book to a random page before letting out a moan and slamming it closed once again. Naruto made it his rule to never touch one of the accursed pocket books as they might fry his brain from all their worthless knowledge... Anyways, he had Sasuke as a personal dictionary. Literally, the boy was a word book on legs. Ask him what blasphemy meant, he'd answer with 'disrespectful talk of God or other sacred things. Another word like it: sacrilege.' It could get kinda creepy sometimes.

Taking another scornful glance at the evil book, an idea popped into the blonds head. His tan hand slowly slipped out and clutched the book. He brought it back to him, cradling it in his chest. The sound of flickering pages brought everyones attention to him.

"...What are you doing?" Kiba questioned from the blonds left side.

"Lookin' at the thesaurus."

"Sounds like a dinosaur! The thesaurus strikes again, kicking the T-rex's ass all the way to space where it hit a meteor, making it spiral out of control and hit the earth, therefore killing all the rest of the dinosaurs. Heh, to think, the thesaurus brought down the whole dino species with it just cause it didn't like the T-rex hitting on his girlfriend, the triceratops."

"Troublesome."

"...SUKE! What does... progenitor mean?" A black eyebrow rose at the question.

"An ancestor." More flicking.

"Devolution?"

"Delegation of power."

"What does meritor- Oooooooooooh.. What's this?" Naruto had the book to his face and was making 'oohs' and 'aaahs' at several things. "Look! Looky what I found! It's a list of phobia's!" Everyone at the table looked uncertain as the blond found the list of fears just a little too interesting.

"So?" Ino asked.

"Listen! What is trichophobia?"

... No answer.

The blond innocently looked at his raven haired boyfriend who wouldn't meet his eyes. "Sasuke... What does it mean?"

"Hn."

"WHAT! What do you mean you DON'T KNOW!" Everyone at the table sweat-dropped, only Naruto could understand the language of 'Hn', an Uchiha family ancient speech which no outsider has ever learnt before, that is, until Naruto came along.

"Naruto... What does it mean?" Sakura asked, slightly curious.

"Fear of hair." The girls eyes widened comically.

"How could anyone fear precious hair! So soft and silky!" Ino cried, hugging Sakura who also cried. Everyone scooted their chairs away from the two sobbing girls.

"Ehhh... So... Anyone here afraid of American people and things?"

"Thats raciest." Gaara commented.

"Geesh! The names so stupid. Americophobia!"

"Yeah!" Kiba barked along with him.

"...So, Kiba, what are you afraid of?" The dog boy looked slightly nervous.

"Nothin'."

"You can't be afraid of nothing! Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me. TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL-"

"OKAY!... I'm afraid of shots and needles and stuff."

"I guess it's normal. Dogs don't normally like the vet."

"Shuddup!"

"I am diagnosing you with... belonephobia. It's fear of needles and sharp pointy things so I guess that counts as injections." Naruto smirked.

"Now... Shika!"

"Computers."

"Computers! Are you serious!" The blond shrieked.

"I just prefer getting it done by myself, no need for useless computers... They'll take over the world some day so I'm just getting a head start at hating them."

"... Eh... You have cyberphobia!"

"Troublesome."

"Gaara! You're next."

"... Children."

"Wait, you're afraid of kids! Why? They're so sweet and cute!"

"They're devils!"

"Okay... Uh.. You have... paedophobia! Now... Sakura!"

"Uhhh. Bugs I guess."

"Bugs. Bugs. Bugs... There is no bugs here- Oh, wait! Found it! Fear of insects... entomophobia!... Hehe, now I know what to do next april fools day!" That earned the blond a smack on the head and a threat that if she finds a bug in her locker she'll kick his ass.

"Inooooooooooooo! You're turn!"

"Hmmmm. I guess I'm afraid of beards... They're so rough and prickly and... Ugggg!" The guys started to snicker. Beards!

"Okay... Thats... pogonophobia!"

"Sound funny."

"Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu." Deep breath. "Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuke! Your turn!" Sasuke looked down at his blond lover before snorting.

"Uchiha's aren't afraid of anything." The blond pouted cutely.

"Come on Sasuke. Tell me... Pretty, pretty please." Sasuke had to fight down a blush at the blonds cuteness and Sakura, Ino and a few other girls in the class passed out from the utter cute-ness... And blood loss.

Sasuke's eyes glanced over to the stalker Airi who looked like she just woke up with blood dripping down her face. The answer was easy. "Women."

Snickering could be heard. "WOMEN! You wuss!" Kiba was doubling over in laughter. It was lucky Sakura and Ino were still out cold on the floor or they would have killed him.

"Really! Okay.. wait, it's called gynophobia!" The blond beamed up at the raven.

"What about you?" Kiba asked.

"Hm?"

"What are you afraid of?"

"Me! Pshhhhh! Naruto Uzumaki fears nothing!"

The book was swiped from his hands by Sasuke as he flicker to the page of phobia's. "Fear of ghosts..phasmophobia."

"Sasuke! You bastard! You didn't have to tell them!"

"It's my dictionary! I can do what I please with it."

"No! It's mine!"

"You took it from my locker three weeks ago. It's my dictionary!"

"It's a thesaurus you jerk!"

"Thesaurus sounds like some dinosaur..."

"Troublesome."

XxXxXxXx

Heyyyyyyyyy! I got the idea when I found a phobia list in my thesaurus... It was really cool an' stuff! I hope I don't offend anyone when I talk about all the phobias. I mean no... what's the word... offense? Whatever. Love Shikamaru, hehe, scared of computers! Also, my friend told me thesaurus sounds like a dinosaur so I just went with it...

I hope you enjoy and please review! I love hearing all the comments!

Coolbluerocker


	6. Birthday Tiiiiime

Hey guys! Sorry I haven't updated this one in a while! I was a bit preoccupied! Anyways, I decided since today is Naruto's birthday I would write a fic for him! I wrote this yesterday and haven't gotten the chance to check it for mistakes so sorry if you find lots. Also, I just wanted to thank everyone for reviewing and hope you like this chapter too. It's not really funny but I thought it was cute. Don't worry though, the next one WILL be funny! Anyways, hope you enjoy this and thanks again! Go Sasunaru!

And happy birthday Naru-chan!

Disclaimers: I do not own Naruto, if I did, Sasuke and Naruto would be sooo together.

Birthday Tiiiiiiiime

XxXxXxXx

Naruto woke up in an excellent mood... At five a.m. Normally he and his raven haired boyfriend would share a bed. He had been living in the Uchiha household ever since he and Sasuke got together. Well, about a week after when he accidently met Itachi (who knew the blond from previous embarrassing -on Naruto's part- encounters) when he and Sasuke were kissing and the elder Uchiha ordered his younger brother to bring his blond boyfriend over to meet their parents. Nervously, and contemplating the idea of running away, the blond met his lovers parents who at first looked a bit skeptical before his mother choked him in a hug.

He was invited - intimated into - having dinner with the family. Innocent question had arose about calling his parents to tell them where he was, or did they know yet. Sasuke, who was also curious about the blonds family as when mentioned before the younger boy would instantly close up, waited patiently for an answer. What they got was nothing any of them expected. When he was one his parents had been murdered and he was sent to an orphanage because he had no other living relatives willing to take such a young child in. He had been hated as people believed his parents were evil and involved in underground things so they had been murdered. Naruto, not really understanding and having no one who knew them to tell him if it was true or not had just taken it. When he turned seven they decided he was old enough to survive on his own and he was thrown out onto the street with nothing more then the clothes on his back and his mothers necklace.

He had lived for two years with no home, relying on stealing and little jobs to get him along with a few penny's thrown his way from strangers who pitied him. He couldn't go to school any longer as there was no way they'd accept him. When he turned nine he found a employer willing to take him on and soon had his own apartment. He returned to school but had missed a lot. He tried to catch up but the teachers didn't like him so neither did the students so no one was willing to help him. He made his first friend out of a dog loving boy when he saved the boys dog from being hit by a car and they became good friends. He soon switched schools and was introduced to many other new people wanting to be friends.

Sasuke's mother was the first one to react, launching herself across the table to smother the blond in hugs, cooing to the boys all the while of how he was such a 'poor, poor baby!' and how 'mommy will take care of you' and finally 'you can stay here with us! I'm never letting you go! Right Honey. He can live with us.' The glare in their mothers eyes said if their father were to refuse he'd be a dead man. He replied with a 'Of course Sweety. It's not like we don't have the room.' The blond declined their offer, saying he didn't want to impose but Itachi had suddenly stood up announcing 'If anyone were to ever harm his Otouto's blond again he'd kill them in the most painful way possible and if the blond didn't hurry up he was going to get the boys possessions from his apartment alone.' Scared, the blond had scurried up, not willing to disobey Itachi's orders.

Sasuke was left sitting there, alone, and wondering 'what the hell just happened.' His family were actually being nice to someone outside their clan. It was scary. When he heard the engine rumbling from the garage he sprung out of his seat to race to the car his brother and koi were in. Of course, when he got there they were at the gate to their estate and he was left home. He was too late.

Anyways, back on topic, he and Sasuke normally shared Sasuke's bed even if he had his own room. After their nightly... activities... neither were willing to move and both were very grateful for the soundproof walls. But last night Sasuke hadn't wanted to share a bed, saying he was tired and closing the door in his boyfriends face. Naruto was left alone to wander to his own dusty room and slipped under the unused blankets. He was lonely but slept fairly decently as his excitement lulled him to sleep.

Why was he excited? Today was a very, very special day. It was his birthday and he couldn't wait to see Sasuke. He knew he'd most likely get a present, not that he cared too much, all he wanted to do was spend the day with his bastard of a lover. His last birthday had gone by unnoticed as he never told Sasuke, embarrassed. He didn't want to make Sasuke think he was expecting a present. The raven had blown up when they reached school and Kiba shoved a wrapped gift into the blonds arm the moment they arrived in the classroom and sat down, the brown haired boy bouncing in his seat as he demanded the blond open it rather loudly.

Sasuke wasn't the only one angry at not being told it was the blonds birthday along with his other friends and angry at himself for never asking. It seemed the only one who knew about it was Kiba. The two explained that it wasn't his actual birthday but since Naruto couldn't remember his real one they said October 10 would be his birthday because it was the day they met and the day Naruto got his very first friend. Sasuke had been jealous at their close bond but decided since Kiba was the blonds first friend he'd have to allow it.

This year would be different. Naruto knew that because this year Sasuke knew it was his birthday. He knew the raven would probably do something big but he didn't care as long as they spent it together and with their friends. Humming a upbeat tune, he bounced to the bathroom to take a shower before changing into his clothes which was a pair of grey/white jeans and an orange shirt with a black hoodie with no sleeves. He pulled his mothers necklace out from between his shirt and chest so it hung over the orange shirt with the black jacket's sides flapping beside it. He then made his way downstairs where Mikoto was making breakfast.

"Naru-chan! Happy birthday!" She smiled and rushed over to squish the blond in a hug. "I made you you're favorite breakfast! Sit down!" She gently shoved the blond down into a seat before placing a steaming cup of hot chocolate in front of him on a little plate with a pink napkin, a heart shaped spoon and a small chocolate on the side. The top of the chocolaty drink was mini-marshmellows all soft and sticky as them melted.

"Hot chocolate! Thank you, thank, you, than you!" The blond cheered as he sipped the drink, burning his tongue in the process but still in heaven from the delicious drink.

"No problem Naru-chan! I know it's your favorite!" The black haired women smiled back at him, motherly love shining in her eyes.

Itachi came down a few minutes later followed by Fugaku who each greeted Naruto with Happy Birthdays before settling down with strait black coffees placed in front of them instead of Naruto's sugary drink. They smiled at the blond as they spoke.

"So, where's Otouto?" Itachi questioned.

"I don't know. I haven't seen him since last night." The small blond answered, softer then normal.

"Wait. Last night? You didn't share Sasuke's room?" Fugaku questioned as he tore his eyes from his newspaper to look at the boy his son dated and had become sort of an adopted son to himself.

Naruto looked down at his drink, stirring it as a distraction and a way to avoid the pairs of black eyes staring at him. His legs were swinging back and forth under the table. "Eh.. no. He said he was tired." And to assure them it was no big deal he forced a smile onto his face. Itachi smiled back even though they all new the blond didn't truly mean his.

"Are you boys talking about Sasuke?" Mikoto asked from where she was flipping pancakes. "He left early this morning, around 6.30. He said he had some business to take care of and he'd meet you at school, Naru."

Blue eyes darted around the room nervously, trying to find an object to focus on. He needed something to catch his attention and distract him. He now had no one to walk with until he met up with the others. Just as he decided he'd go to the Hyuuga house early so he wouldn't be so lonely a loud boom echoed from outside. "Eeeek!" THe blond squeaked as he ducked under the table, latching on to the first thing he found which just happened to be Itachi's legs.

"Naru-chan!" Mikoto cried as she darted across the kitchen and crouched down to peak under the tablecloth. Wide blue orbs laced in fear stared back at her. "Come here!" Her arms opened for the blond to crawl into but his grip only tightened on Itachi's legs, who was now also looking under the table at the blond.

"Would you like to sit next to me Naruto?" Itachi asked as he drug a chair over and patted it. The blond only nodded. He hadn't gone to Mikoto because he was use to being comforted by Sasuke and Itachi was a lot like Sasuke so he felt drawn to him when his boyfriend wasn't here. Slowly, he inched up into a sitting position beside the raven. Whenever the sky flashed or thunder boomed through the heavy rainfall the blond would flinch and grip Itachi's side even harder. Itachi didn't mind. Naruto was sort of like a little brother to him now and he would protect his new little brother.

"I'll give you a lift to school. No point in walking in a storm." Itachi offered once they finished breakfast. The blond smiled as they got up and headed towards Itachi's black car. Naruto snuggled down into the back of the chair, as if trying to let the chair eat him. He hated driving in a storm way more then he hated being inside during a storm. The raven drove as close to the school as possible before letting the blond out.

Naruto opened the door and planted his two feet outside before pausing. He leaned back in the car and placed a kiss on Itachi's - his adopted older brother's - cheek, a habit he always did before he left the car to any of the older Uchiha's. He then twisted back around and placed his hand on the door handle, ready to push himself out of the car. Right as he began to stand lightning struck the sky, followed by booms of thunder. On instinct the blond flinched and slammed to door close to protect himself. He instantly cried out as he closed the metal door on his leg, the door slamming on the one closest to the hinge and barely touching the other one. Before he knew it warm tears were streaming down his face, dripping down onto his white jeans leaving circular marks.

"Naruto!" Itachi called, quickly getting out of the car and running around to the other side, ignoring the pouring rain and other schoolchildren. He pulled the door all the way open and kneeled before the small, bent over blond. There was a deep gash a little above his ankle and by the looks of it the ankle was broken. "Shit! Naruto. Naru? Can you hear me. I'm going to take you to the hospital, okay. But we got to get you inside the car. I'm going to left your leg into the car, okay. It's going to hurt but it'll be better soon, okay." Hoping the blond heard him he gently grabbed the blonds calf and ignoring the cry of pain placed it into the car, doing the same to the other just not as carefully. Naruto was still dent over, chest against thighs and hugging his knee's. Sobs could be heard coming from his shaking body.

Dripping wet Itachi got into the drivers side and sped away towards the nearest hospital. He ran so many red lights and stop signs it was a surprise they didn't get pulled over or in a crash. When he arrived he gently picked up the blond, one hand on the small of his back and the other under his knee and rushed the light blond into the hospital. He was immediately taken away and a nurse was left to question the raven as she batted her long lashes at the Uchiha in hopes he found her cute. He ignored her advances.

"Is his leg broken?" Itachi questioned once she stopped talking.

She looked up at him, slightly hurt. "We won't know until the doctor comes out. He'll call your name."

"Okay. Thank you." And with that he walked away. Grabbing his phone from his pocket he flipped it open and dialed a number. He waited for a few minutes, phone pressed against ear before someone answered.

"Hello?"

"Hey otouto."

"Itachi-nii-san? Have you seen Naruto? He's not at school yet. Is he walking in the rain! I'll go pick him up." Sasuke fretted.

Itachi sighed. "Sasuke, Naruto's at the hospital. I think he broke his leg."

"WHAT! I'm coming. Which hospital!" Itachi could hear his brother packing his stuff and his friends asking him what was wrong.

"Konoha Leaf Hospital. It's on 9th st-"

"I know where it is! I'm on my way. What happened?" Sasuke snapped.

"It was raining and there was thunder so he was slightly spooked. I of course wasn't going to make him walk in a storm so I dropped him off. He was getting up when thunder sounded and he slammed the door on his leg."

"Fuck! I don't want him spending his birthday in the damn hospital."

"You didn't seem to mind him spending last night and breakfast alone."

"Shut up! I was trying to get some things set up for his birthday! I had to do things for his party tonight! I was trying to make this his best birthday so far!"

"You're an idiot otouto. I wouldn't doubt if his last birthday was better then this one, never mind being in the hospital. He'd rather be with you to celebrate his birthday then have some big, unnecessary party he won't even care about. He would have liked to wake up next to you, have breakfast with you and go to school with you. He doesn't care about presents or party's. Sure, he'll appreciate it but if you're not there with him it won't be as special! Goodbye otouto." Itachi shook his head in disappointment. He understood why Sasuke wanted to make this birthday special but he was going over the top.

"Uchiha! Is Itachi Uchiha here?" A shrill voice called and the raven quickly walked over to the nurse calling his name. "Ah, Uchiha, correct?" Itachi nodded. "Well, Naruto's wound had been stitched up and his leg put back in place. He's currently asleep on pain meds and won't be awake for a couple of hours. We have put a cast around the break but it will take about 8 weeks to fully heal. He can come back in 6 weeks to get the cast off and replace it with a wrap. Any questions?"

"When can he get out and can I go see him?" Itachi demanded, face blank.

"Um. He might be able to leave today if he's careful but he'll have to take pain killers every few hours and I can take you to his room now if you'd like."

"Can you issue his release. I'll take him home once he wakes up and thank you." He followed the nurse through the halls until they reached door number 174.

"This is his room. The doctor should still be in there to talk to you." Itachi nodded before entering. Naruto was lying on a white bed. He looked nearly as pale as the bed sheets which was unusual for the tan skinned boy. There were marks on his face from his earlier tears and his leg had a orange cast around it. Itachi was curious as to whether the blond told the doctor to make it orange or if the doctor just did that cause he felt that it should be the obnoxious color.

There was in fact a doctor in the room. She had light brown hair and hazel green eyes. She smiled at him when he entered the room. "Ah, you must be Naruto-kun's brother, although you don't look much alike." She giggled, but not in the way his fan girls normally giggle. She wasn't head over heals with him but she still smiled.

"How is he?"

"He's fine. Maybe slightly traumatized. I offered to put him to sleep when we were putting his leg back in place but he refused. He said he'd rather not be oblivious. I got talking to him. He's nice. He was telling me all about you and... Sasuke-kun, I think it was. And about your parents and how nice they were. He even told me about his friends and how worried they'd be." She informed him before following his gaze to the orange cast. "Ah, you noticed the cast I see. He told me his favorite color was orange so I pulled a few strings to get him that cast. Wasn't easy either but I'd do anything for such a sweet, innocent boy." Her hazel eye winked at him and he was amazed that it didn't turn out to be slutty or repulsive to him.

Itachi sent her a smile for being so nice to the blond. "So, can I take him home today? It is his birthday after all."

She gasped. "It's his birthday! Poor boy. How terrible! Of course you can. As long as he rests and takes pain killers regularly then that'll be fine. What happened?"

"He's scared of thunder and was exiting my car when it boomed. He slammed the door close on himself. Gave me the scare of my life." Itachi explained as he took a seat next to Naruto's bed.

"Ow. That must of hurt. Well, I have to move on but I'll be back in two hours. He should be awake by then and I'll give you instructions about his care." She smiled again before leaving the room. Itachi sighed as he watched her leave. This had never happened before. He had never been this interested in a girl. Sure, he had dated but never actually watched them leave! Before he could think about it any more the door slammed open and Sasuke rushed in, followed by Kiba.

"Naruto!" Sasuke cried as he sprinted to the bed and leaned over the blond. Gently he caressed the whiskered cheek as he noticed the tear stains. When he looked up again Kiba was on the other side of his best friend. "How is he?" Sasuke demanded.

"Fine. He can leave today but can't walk and needs to rest with plenty of pain killers." His older brother said in a monotone voice.

"I ruined his birthday! Now he can't even go to the party!"

Kiba looked up. "Maybe we could have it at my place, or yours. Our friends could come over and just have a little get together kind of think. He could sit on the couch the whole time and we'd play a movie, have dinner and some popcorn before bringing out the cake and presents. He'd like that." Sasuke looked back at Kiba. Honestly, Kiba probably knew Naruto better then he did. He didn't like the idea but knew it was true. They had only been together a bit over a year while he and Kiba had been friends forever. If Kiba thought Naruto would like it then he most likely would.

"Okay, I guess. It'd be easier to give him my present then anyways."

Sigh. "I'll call mom."

XxXxXxXx

Sasuke sighed as the hours began to pass by and the blond on the bed still remained asleep. Kiba was snooring beside him and Itachi had left to help their parents set up the party. Kiba had already told everyone what happened and that the location had been switched. Now they were just waiting for Naruto to wake up so they would leave.

The raven sighed again, face in palm and elbow leaning on armrest. After Kiba had fallen asleep it got quiet and boring. His black eyes bore into the figure on the bed. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the pale hand twitch. He instantly switched his attention to the soft face and fluttering eyes.

"Naruto?" Said boy groaned before deep blue eyes finally opened. They darted around the room in a haze like state before settling on him.

"Suke?" The blond slurred, eyebrows drawn in confusion. The raven tenderly grabbed the blonds hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Yea. It's me. How do you feel?" Sasuke smiled the smile he reserved only for his blond.

"Whaz goin' on? Wherez Itach'? He'z drivin' me ta schoool." The blond questioned.

"He went home. You broke your leg, remember. Do you want to leave now?"

"Oh yea! I wanna go home. It hurtttts!" Naruto whined.

"Okay. I'll go get the nurse. Kiba will keep you company, right Kiba?" His question was only met by more snores. He smirked before elbowing the brunette in the side. _"Right _Kiba?"

The dog lover shot up in his seat. "Wha! Where? Oh yeah... Oh! Naruto, you're awake man. How do you feel?" Kiba anxiously scooted closer to the blonds bed.

"Fine. I'm gunna go home. Suke said I could!" Naruto smiled at his best friend.

"I'll be right back. I'm going to get the doctor." Sasuke reluctantly left to find the brown haired women who had come in only a half an hour ago to check on his blond. He found her quickly and they returned to his boyfriends room.

"Hey Naruto-kun! How are you?" The women smiled as she entered.

"Hiya Hikari-chan! I'm goood!" He smiled goofily at his new friend.

"Ah, a little high on medication I see but the effects will soon wear off and you can take regular pills. You ready to go home?" She giggled.

"Yep! But I'll miss you! Will you come see me?" Innocent blue eyes met hers.

"I don't know if I can but when you come to get your cast taken off if you ask for me I'll be more then willing to do it for you!"

"Okaaaaay! Are we goin' home now Suke, Kibs?" Naruto held his arms out to Sasuke and confused at the strange jester - when Naruto wanted to be picked up he usually jumped on his back or hung off his neck or when he decided he wanted to pick the blond when they were... eh, never mind - Sasuke picked up the blond bridal style.

"Would you like a wheel-y chair?" The doctor asked.

"Naw. It's fine. Mr. Tall, dark and handsome here is perfectly capable of carrying him to the car." Kiba smirked.

"Okay. Well I already told Itachi-kun what you need to do and prescribed him some pain killers. Could you give him this?" Hikari asked, handing Kiba a slip of paper. "And happy birthday Naruto-kun!"

"Thanks! Biiii!" Naruto called over Sasuke's shoulder as they walked away. When they reached the car he gently placed the blond in the passengers seat while Kiba clambered into the back and Sasuke took the drivers seat. The rain hadn't stopped at all and the streets were beginning to flood but the thunder and lightning had stopped. When they reached the Uchiha mansion they had to rush inside as there were loads of cars blocking up the garage. Sasuke had cursed their friends as Naruto wasn't suppose to get his cast wet.

"Why are there so many cars Sasuke?" Naruto asked. He had sobered up and hated it as the pain returned.

"I don't know." The raven deadpanned. He struggled with the keys as he tried to open the door and hold the blond.

"I got it." Kiba said as he snatched the keys from the Uchiha and slipped them in the hole, turning the key and the door opened with a click. All the lights were off and Kiba and Sasuke shared a knowing glance before entering.

Nothing happened. Confused, they walked in further, wondering where everyone was. Just as they entered the living room the lights switched on and everyone screamed "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Naruto, in response screamed - like a girl, not that he would admit it - and buried his face into his boyfriends shirt.

"They're trying to kill us! Save me Suke!" The blond cried.

Silence.

"Were not trying to kill you idiot! It's your surprise birthday party!" Sakura growled as she walked over.

"Surprise birthday party?" The blond asked, puzzled.

"Yes! Happy birthday!" Ino cheered as she bounced over.

"How are you, Naruto?" Shino asked.

"Fine. My leg hurts but other then that I'm good."

"W-we were a-all really w-worried about y-you!" Hinata stuttered out, a blush lining her cheeks.

"Aww, thanks guys!"

"Now! Who wants to watch Role Models!" Tenten asked, holding up the DVD.

"I think we all do." Neji mumbled.

"Geez, try to be a bit less enthusiastic." Tenten growled.

"Shut up."

"Can you put me down on the couch, Suke?" Sasuke did as told before claiming the seat beside the blond.

"Naru-chan! How are you?" Mikoto asked, rushing over to the blond.

"I'm fine."

"Leave the poor boy alone and let the kids watch their movie Mikoto." Fugaku sighed.

"Fine, fine. I'll get you kids some popcorn, kay!"

"Kay," They chorused. With soda and popcorn at their disposal they started the movie. Sasuke and Naruto shared one side of the couch with the blond snuggling against his boyfriend. Gaara sat next to him, close enough to be a bit too close but the two had a weird friendship. They were so close they were like boyfriends but at the same time had no romantic feelings. Next to Gaara was Neji. Leaning against Neji's legs was Tenten and lying in Tentens lap was Ino. Ino's legs were in Sakura's lap who was leaning against one of Naruto's legs and one of Gaara's. Lee was lying against her legs with Ino's legs next to him. Shikamaru shared a love seat with Temari with Kankuro and Hinata each on one side of the couch leaning against it. Kiba was lying in Hinata's lap and Shino was sitting over Kiba's legs. Next to Kankuro was Choji was was munching on the popcorn. Itachi was sharing a couch with Deidera and Kisame. About half way through they paused it for cake, ice cream and presents.

"You guys really didn't have to. Just being here would have been enough!" The blond smiled. Everyone had given him a present, well, everyone except Sasuke, not that he minded.

"Geez, just accept the presents and stop making such a big deal. We want to finish the movie!" Temari ordered.

"So troublesome." They continued on with the movie and by the end half of the people were asleep, Mikoto coming in not too long ago with pillows and blankets. Sasuke looked down at the blond with drooping blue eyes and gently stood up, leaning the half asleep blond against Gaara who just nodded at him.

"Suke." Naruto whispered, his hand latching onto the Uchiha's.

"Yes?"

"Where you goin'?"

"Bathroom. I'll be right back."

When Sasuke returned to the room the blond was nearly asleep. He walked over to the blond and stood in front of him, trying to avoid the pink haired girl below him. Holding his arms out he released the object in his hand to land on the snoozing blond. With a jerk he awoke, looking around frantically. His eyes shot down to the moving, _breathing _thing in his lap and instantly melted as emerald green eyes stared back at him.

"Meow!" The thing cried out.

"Sasuke! You got me a kitten!" Naruto cheered as he looked down at the grey and white fur ball. It's whole body was grey except the tips of it's ear, one eye and around it's pink nose. Also, one of it's front paws was white too. All in all, it was adorable.

"Yea. Thats why I didn't want you in my room last night. It wouldn't sit still. And this morning I left early to buy some supplies for the cat. Anyways, happy birthday. I... love you." Sasuke answered as he snuggled back down beside his koi. The grey cat mewled again as it snuggled into Naruto's lap, already in love with the blond.

"Thanks Suke. I love you too." Naruto whispered as he kissed the Uchiha's pale cheek. "And I love him. You're the best. But, I thought you didn't like cats."

"I don't, but you do and I thought you would like to have a pet or something. But I'm not taking care of that flea ridden thing."

"Don't insult him! You'll hurt his feelings!"

"He's a cat! It doesn't have feelings."

"First of all, he's not an it and second of all yes he does! How would you like it if some giant had you as a pet and said mean things about you!"

"Irrelevant, I would never be a pet. I'm an Uchiha!"

"Nu-uh! A giant would be huge! You couldn't stop him!"

"Shut up and go to sleep!" Kiba barked.

...

"You hurt his feelings! Say sorry!"

"Oh My God!" Ino screamed.

"No."

"Just apologize!" Choji urged.

"Yea Suke! Apologize!" Naruto repeated as he held the cat from under it's arms up to the ravens face.

"Make me!"

"Sasuke. If you don't apologize I'll cut your balls off in your sleep and shove them up your ass!" Gaara threatened.

"Such a youthful proclamation!"

"Youthful my ass! That was a threat!" Kankuro snorted.

"I was sleeping, un!" Deidera whined.

"Shut up!" Sasuke growled.

"Geez squirt! You're annoying." Kisame growled, flashing his sharp teeth at everyone.

"Just apologize Sasuke before you give us all a headache!"

"Please Suke." Naruto cutely blinked up at him. "He's sad now!"

Sasuke couldn't say no to the big blue eyes. "Fine... Sorry." He muttered.

"Thanks Suke!" Naruto cried as he reached up and wrapped his arms arouns Sasuke, giving him a big hug which Sasuke returned. As they were pulling away Sasuke leaned down and kissed the small blond who immediately returned the kiss. It was just getting good as Sasuke nibbled down on the plump lip and Naruto opened his mouth to the wandering tongue when a mewl sounded from below. Naruto instantly pulled away.

"I'm so sorry kitty! Not in front of the children Suke!" Sasuke sighed.

"I'm already regretting this!"

"Don't worry kitty. Sasuke doesn't mean it! Right Sasuke."

"Not again!" Sakura shouted and elbowed the raven in the leg as everyone groaned in exasperation.

"Shit! That hurt!"

"Go. To. Sleep!"

"Yes Nii-san!"

XxXxXxXx

I love Itachi! Anyways, thanks for reading and please review! Also, I tried to add more touchy-feely moments into this. Oh, and if any of you read my other fic Bloody Wings then I should be updating tomorrow! I was going to update today as well but I really need to correct the mistakes in that one and have a major headache so I couldn't be bother.

Hope you enjoyed :) Have a great Naruto's Birthday day!

Coolbluerocker


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